EX-GAY 'Christian' ministries
In Singapore, many big churches especially the Anglican Charismatic evangelicals have strongly promoted ex-Gay ministries. Emphasising that "God loves the sinner but not the sin" as though they really care, they have embarked on a highly biased theology and phycological approach to counsel Gays in group settings over a period of time to attempt to 'change' their orientation. Obiously, they have used brain washing techniques and a fair dose of deception for God has wired a person up as a Gay from birth and it is very difficult to change with the change being superficial and never permanent. The ex-gay ministries are nothing more that a fleshly attempt at being God and changing forcefully a persons orientation.
Gay Christians in Singapore have a responsibility to expose the ex-gay ministries as it causes great harm including
Gay Christians in Singapore have a responsibility to expose the ex-gay ministries as it causes great harm including:-
Even mainstream organizations are raising their serious reservations and concerns. For example, the American Psychiatric Association calls the ex-gay treatments a great risk of depression, anxiety, and self destructive behavior. The ex-gay peddlers inaccurately categorises gays as lone, unhappy individuals, who never achieve acceptance. The possibility that the person may achieve satisfying interpesonal relatiohsip as Gay man or woman is not presented. Those who seek ex-gay treatments are likely to be doing so due to social pressure that have resulted in internalized homophobia. On the conntrary, Gays who have accepted thier natural sexual orientation are better adjusted emotionaly.
The American Phychological Association advised that the ex-Gay treatments on having no scientific basis with no evidence on tangible changes. Instead it does much harm. Orientation is not only limited to sexual behaviour, but encompases one's emotional, romatic, sexual feelings and self identity. In other words, an ex-Gay organization may be able to mold a persons outward sexual hevaiour, but inwardly, he has never changed. It goes to prove that a person is reallly born Gay.
The term 'ex-gay' refers to christian ministries promoting deliverence for Gays to change their 'lifestyles'. For ex-Gay ministries, being Gay is a matter of choices which has been nutured through repetitive positive re-enforcement of this lifestyle. Therefore, the role of the 'ex-gay' ministries is to assist in this rehabilitation to a normal lifestyle by positive re-enforcement of a straight lifestyle. Although there is a outward claim that the ministry are strictly non judgemental, there is nevertheless a strong underlying religious bias that being Gay is a sin. The final chapter of a happy ending would be the ex-gay person being happily integrated into mainstream society and happilly married.
Despite attempts by ex-gay ministries to call their ministry by any other name, their purpose is still the same, that is to turn Gays into 'ex-Gays'. "Let us not put labels" they said, for sexuality is so complex so they claimed. In other words, they want to de-gay the entire issue and talk about humankind and responsibility and choices we make. "Let us be open to all points of view" they claimed notwitstanding of course that their point of view is always right despite having no Christian biblical basis. For all intention purpose, such ministries may be looked upon as smooth talking salesman talking about straight life not worth your while referring to a gay friend unless of course he is otherwise..
The ex-Gay ministries despite their sincerity, and good purpose of heart, should come before God in consideration and reflection for the hurt and harm that they have caused. Why? their foundation of their teachning that being Gay is somehow choices made goes against God's very creation of a person as Gay. The spiritual harm that a Gay person goes through cannot be justified with a clean conscience and the wasted years of going through this struggle and self condemnation..
God created everyone as Gay or Straight, not a choice for the individual. It is not a label which may change, but it is a Fact. You cannot be an ex-gay just as one cannot be an ex-human. For a Gay person being attracted to the same sex is natural and does not take a special effort. For a straight person, being attracted to the opposite sex is also natural, not needing special coaching either. For a Gay person to be made to be attracted to the opposite sex is possible. The Ex-Gay ministries will brain wash a person in order to turn him around. True to the fact, new thinking patterns are esthablished for this new 'straight' life style. But there is always an effort to mainstain this fascade. Ex-Gays claim that they are not perfect that they still attracted to the same sex once a while as though being Gay is somehow in-perfect. For God has made them Gays. Therefore it is in God's perfect creation that they naturally behave as one. No need to be ashamed of. On the contrary for a Gay, being a straight is unnatural. Being Gay is not a choice, but to be a Gay, and still intent to be straight and to marry, it is a big decision, not impossible but difficult. But the decision has to be made for the right reasons, because God has accepted and created you as a Gay. Using Christ as somehow a reason for changing once's orientation, is not founded on firm basis.
In many ways, Gay marrianges and Straight marriages are on a par - they have the same problems, and the same issues. However, using this as a reason to somehow discourage Gay relationships borders on hypocrisy. Just as Gay marriages are not a bed of sweet roses so too neither is a straight relatioship. As this should not deter anyone from getting into a straight marriage, neither should it matter in a Gay relationship.
As Gay Christians we need to stand firm and be proud of being who God created us as. You are not an ex-straight, a word which is a direct denial of that you are born Gay. Nothing can take away that fact. Does having a relationship with the opposite sex makes you a straight. No! We have extremely strong conditioning which is continuously enforced by the movies and religion of heterosexuality where we result in Gays crucifying their inate desires. Living in self denial and even worse not realizing that God accepts you as you are will create barriers in your christian walk..
Ultimately, to God sexuality is a non issue. It is our relationship with Jesus that really matters. This relationship is so precious. Satan is not concern whether a person is Gay or non-Gay, his ultimate objective is your soul whether you will be with him in the eternal lake of fire. Satan uses the institunalized Church and pretty much most people who are unawares to do his dirty work. Satan must be smiling in glee. Not only does the church not do what it supposed to do i.e. preaching the gospel, it turns away Gays seeking after God in droves. Those who endured to the finish will be so wrecked by their expereinces that they seldom return to Church. The perfect plan for a naive church.
As our relationship with Jesus is of prime importance, our decision to accept our Gay identity really matters. Accepting our Gayness is equivalent to our complete acceptance of God. Without accepting how God created us as, or constantly give reasons to deny this creation, we are rejected in a vital facet of God's work in our lives. There was always be a barrier between Jesus and us, unless we embrace our Gayness. Subconciously, we will always have a resentment against God for creating us as such or alternately we consider being Gay is a sin which will separate us from God. The ex-Gay ministries does nothing more than to amplify the internal homphorbia a person has. The ex-Gay movement is extremely harmful to Gay Christians relationhsip with Jesus.
Jesus is everything, and not wether you are a Gay or a Straight. You may live 80 years as a Gay or Straight, but what is that to eternal life. True love is found not in marriage, not even in Gay or Straight relationship. Yes, true love is found in acceptance, but the greatest love and greatest acceptance can only be given by the greatest giver of all, Jesus Christ my Lord and saviour.
HE IS MY EVERYTHING
Like honey in the rock